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Telly Monster Myco
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The care guide

Do
nothing.

That is not a slogan, it is the instruction set. This page is the long version, mostly so you can recognise the days where doing nothing feels wrong.

A block in full flush
15-24°
Room temperature, out of direct sun
0
Times you spray anything
1
Twist, at harvest
01  /  Day by day

What the three
weeks look like.

Timings shift by species. The shape does not.

The only rules

  • Upright, out of direct sun
  • 15 to 24 degrees
  • Do not cut, open, spray or tent the bag
  • Twist to harvest, never cut
  • Leave it in place for the next flush
Day 0

It arrives

Open the box the day it lands. The block should be solid, pale and cold, with white mycelium visible through the plastic and no green anywhere. Stand it upright somewhere out of direct sun. That is the whole of your setup.

Day 1 to 4

It looks like nothing is happening

Because visibly nothing is. Under the plastic it is finishing colonising and building the density it needs before it can afford to fruit. This is where people interfere, and interfering here is the single most common way to lose a block. Do not open it, do not cut it, do not spray it.

Day 4 to 14

Pins

A scatter of pinheads, usually at the shoulder of the block where the plastic creases. Oysters get here in four or five days, chestnut in seven to ten, shiitake can take three weeks and browns over first, which alarms everybody and should not.

Two to four days later

It doubles, then doubles again

Once it pins it moves fast. A cluster can go from countable to uncountable overnight. This is the point to stop planning dinner around anything else.

Harvest

You twist, you do not cut

Take the whole cluster with a twist at the base. Cutting leaves stumps that rot and invite trouble. Pick just before the caps flatten out and the edges start to curl up.

One to two weeks on

It comes back

Leave the block exactly where it is. Flush two is usually about sixty per cent of flush one, flush three is a handful. You still do nothing between them.

The end

Into the garden

When it stops, cut the plastic off and bury the block in a bed or a compost heap. Some people get an outdoor flush the following spring by accident.

02  /  When it goes wrong

It usually does not.
If it does:

Almost always temperature. Under 15 degrees a block stalls rather than dies. Move it somewhere warmer and give it another week. Still nothing, email us the order number and a photo and we replace it.

Stop. Do not open the bag. Photograph it through the plastic and email us. Green is trichoderma, it is not fixable at home, and we would rather you did not open it. Replaced without argument.

Not enough fresh air where it is standing, usually a cupboard. Move it into the open room. Still edible, just leggy.

It is looking for the easiest exit. Nothing to fix, the next flush usually finds the top. Harvest what you can reach.

The room is very dry or it is in direct sun or a draught. Move it away from both. Do not start misting an intact bag, it does nothing.

Bacterial, usually after a knock in transit. Photograph and email. Replaced.

Any block that fails through no fault of yours gets replaced. Photograph it, email help@tellymonstermyco.com with the order number, and do not post anything back to us. Posting a broken mushroom block to Michigan helps nobody.

Ready to do nothing?

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